MFM Joker Corner 2

[silverbeauty]

Analogy of the Stock Market

[tlchuan]

good 1

[sobamy]

That's a good one.

[pumbaa]

Dad buys a lie detector robot which slaps people when they lie. He decides to test it at dinner. "Son, where were you today?" The son says "at school dad." Robot slaps the son! "Ok, I watched a dvd at my friends house!" "What dvd?" "Toy story." Robot slaps the son again! "Ok, it was a porno" cries the son. "What! When I was your age I didn't know what porn was" says the dad. Robot slaps the dad! Mom laughs "HaHaHa! He's certainly your son." Robot slaps the mom..

LOL

[moeyhc]

Since when you turn to Jokes to over come hunger Bro pumbaa? ......

Welcome Back...

[kissnight]

F***ing

1. F***ing once a week is good for your health but its harmful if done every day.

2. F***ing gives proper relaxation for your mind & body.

3. F***ing refreshes you.

4. After F***ing don't eat too much, go for more liquids.

5. Try to do f***ing in bed cause it can save your valuable energy.

6. F***ing can even reduce your cholestrol level.


So...

FASTING is good for your health

God bless your Dirty mind !!!

[kissnight]

Holiday in Rome

A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband.

She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded:
"Rome ? Why would anyone want to go there ? It's crowded and dirty. You're crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there ?"

"We're taking Continental," was the reply. "We got a great rate !"

"Continental ?" exclaimed the hairdresser. " That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome ?"

"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome's Tiber River called Teste."

"Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks its gonna be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump."

"We're going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope."

"That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this trip of yours. You're going to need it."

A few months later, the hairdresser, by chance, bumps into the woman in the streets. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome, and also asked why she hadn’t come by in a while.

"Our trip was wonderful," explained the woman, "not only were we on time in one of Continental's brand new planes, but it was overbooked, and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28-year-old flight attendant who waited on me hand and foot.

And the hotel was great ! They'd just finished a $5 million remodeling job, and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge !"

"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good, but I know you didn't get to see the Pope."

"Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if we'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet us.

Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook our hand, and he spoke a few words to me.."

"Oh, really ! What'd he say ?"

"He said: "Who the #$@*!%& did up your hair ?""

[kissnight]

I have outlived my pecker by Willie Nelson

Whether or not you are a country music fan, these are truly the words of a deep thinker, and a highly intelligent person.
So simple, yet so profound !
Read the words of wisdom from that famous philosopher Willie Nelson, iconic country and western singer, on his 75th birthday below his esteemed portrait.
Only a man with such wisdom and maturity could be so concise and succinct in phrasing his feelings at this turning point in his life.



I have outlived my pecker.

The Penis Poem--by Willie Nelson

My nookie days are over,
My pilot light is out.
What used to be my sex appeal,
Is now my water spout.
Time was when, on its own accord,
From my trousers it would spring.
But now I've got a full time job,
To find the f***in' thing.
It used to be embarrassing,
The way it would behave.
For every single morning,
It would stand and watch me shave.
Now as old age approaches,
It sure gives me the blues.
To see it hang its little head,
And watch me tie my shoes !!

[kissnight]

TWENTY DOLLARS

On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband and asked for $20.00 for their first lovemaking encounter.
In his highly aroused state, her husband readily agreed.

This scenario was repeated each time they made love, for more than 40 years, with him thinking that it was a cute way for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that she needed.

Arriving home around noon one day, she was surprised to find her husband in a very drunken state.
During the next few minutes, he explained that his employer was going through a process of corporate downsizing, and he had been let go.

It was unlikely that, at the age of 59, he'd be able to find another position that paid anywhere near what he'd been earning, and therefore, they were financially ruined.

Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which showed more than forty years of steady deposits and interest totaling nearly $1 million.
Then she showed him certificates of deposits issued by the bank which were worth over $2 million, and informed him that they were one of the largest depositors in the bank.

She explained that for more than three decades she had 'charged' him for sex, these holdings had multiplied and these were the results of her savings and investments.

Faced with evidence of cash and investments worth over $3 million, her husband was so astounded he could barely speak, but finally he found his voice and blurted out, 'If I'd had any idea what you were doing,
I would have given you all my business !'

That's when she shot him.

You know, sometimes, men just don't know when to keep their mouths shut.

Women are like phones: They like to be held, talked to, and touched often.
But push the wrong button and your ass is disconnected !!!

[kissnight]

LAST NIGHT'S SEX

Two Women were chatting in the house:



Woman 1: I had sex last night, did you?

Woman 2: Yes.

Woman 1: Was it good?

Woman 2: No, it was a disaster... My husband came home, ate his dinner in three minutes, got on top of me, finished having sex in five minutes, rolled over and fell asleep in two minutes. How was yours?

Woman 1: Oh it was amazing ! My husband came home and took me out to a romantic dinner. After dinner we walked for an hour. When we came home he lit the candles around the house and we had an hour of foreplay. We then had an hour long session of fantastic sex and afterwards talked for an hour.
It was like a fairy tale !!!



At the same time, their husbands were talking at work.



Husband 1: You wanted sex last night, how was it ?

Husband 2: Great. I came home, dinner was on the table, I ate, screwed my wife and fell asleep. It was great ! What about you ?

Husband 1: It was horrible. I came home, there's no dinner because they cut the electricity because I hadn't paid the bill; so I had to take my wife out to dinner which was so expensive that I didn't have money left for a cab. We had to walk home which took an hour - and when we got home remember there was no electricity so I had to light candles all over the house ! I was so angry that I couldn't get it up for an hour and then I couldn't come for another hour.
After I finally did, I was so aggravated that I couldn't fall asleep and my wife was jabbering away for another damn hour.