My ASEAN Free GPS Map Project

George Washington and me


Once there was a little boy who lived in the country. The
family had to use an outhouse, and the little boy hated it
because it was so hot in the summer and freezing cold in
the winter and stank all the time. The outhouse was sitting
on the bank of a creek and the boy was determined that one
day he would push that old outhouse straight into the creek.

One day after a spring rain, the creek was swollen so the little
boy decided today was the day to push the outhouse into the
creek. He found a large stick and started pushing. Finally,
the outhouse toppled into the creek and floated away.

That night his dad told him they were going to the woodshed
after supper. Knowing that meant a spanking, the little boy
asked why. The dad replied, "Someone pushed the outhouse
into the creek today. It was you, wasn't it son?"

The boy answered it was. Then he thought a moment and said,
"Dad, I read in school today that George Washington chopped
down a cherry tree and didn't get into trouble because he told
the truth."

The dad replied, "Well, son, George Washington's father wasn't
in the cherry tree....."

Generation "Y"

People born before 1923 are called -
The Greatest Generation.


People born between 1924 and 1945 are called -
The Silent Generation.

People born between 1946 and 1964 are called -
The Baby Boomers.

People born between 1965 and 1979 are called -
Generation X.

And people born between 1980 and 2012 are called
- Generation Y.

Why do we call the last group - Generation Y...

Y should I get a job?

Y should I leave home and find my own place?

Y should I get a car when I can use yours?

Y should I clean my room?

Y should I wash and iron my own clothes?

Y should I buy any food?

Y should I vote for someone who won’t give me free stuff?

Y should I stay married?

Y should I save for the future?

Y should I not be entitled to everything?

But perhaps a cartoonist explained it most eloquently below...

That's a good one...

GOLF VS SEX

A golfer is in a competitive match with a friend, who is ahead by

a couple of strokes. 'Boy, I'd give anything to sink this putt,' the

golfer mumbles to himself.

Just then, a stranger walks up beside him and whispers, 'Would

you be willing to give up one-fourth of your sex life?'

Thinking the man is crazy and his answer will be meaningless,

the golfer also feels that maybe this is a good omen so he says,

'Sure' and sinks the putt.

Two holes later, he mumbles to himself again, 'Gee, I sure would

like to get an eagle on this one.' The same stranger is at his side

again and whispers, 'Would it be worth giving up another fourth of

your sex life?'

Shrugging, the golfer replies, 'Okay.' And he makes an eagle.

On the final hole, the golfer needs another eagle to win. Without

waiting for him to say anything, the stranger quickly moves to his

side and says, 'Would winning this match be worth giving up the

rest of your sex life?'

'Definitely,' the golfer replies, and he makes the eagle.

As the golfer is walking to the club house, the stranger walks

alongside him and says, 'I haven't really been fair with you

because you don't know who I am. I'm the devil, and from this

day forward you will have no sex life.'

'Nice to meet you,' the golfer replies, 'I'm Father O'Malley.'

cute containers

The medical student was asked four reasons why mother's
milk was better for babies than cow's milk.
This is the answer he submitted:
1. It's fresher.
2. It's cleaner.
3. The cats can't get to it.
4. It's easier to take on a picnic.
He also added: "It comes in such cute containers."

Good one ~~~

Twelve monks

Twelve monks were about to be ordained. The final test was for them to line up, nude, in a garden while a nude model danced before them. Each monk had a small bell attached to his privates, and they were told that anyone whose bell rang would not be ordained because he had not reached a state of spiritual purity. The model danced before the first monk candidate, with no reaction. She proceeded down the line with the same response until she got to the final monk. As she danced, his bell rang so loudly it fell off and clattered to the ground. Embarrassed, he bent down to pick up the bell, and eleven other bells began to ring……

Never force children to Pray

At dinner, a little boy was ordered by his father to lead in prayer.

BOY: But I don’t know how to pray.

DAD: Just pray for your family members, friends and neighbors, the poor, etc...

BOY: “Dear Lord,” he started

Thank you for our visitors and their children, who finished all my cookies and ice cream. Bless them so they won’t come again! Forgive our neighbor’s son, who removed my sister’s clothes and wrestled with her on her bed yesterday.

This coming Christmas, please send clothes to all those poor naked ladies on my daddy’s blackberry mobile phone.
And provide shelter Lord, to the homeless men who use mom’s room when daddy is at work.

....

Sleepy Coversations

Me: Bro, why I cannot log-in the website?
Bro: Same with me me. I also cant log in. Btw, who are you?
Me: I am at home
Bro: Bro I know u r at home lah. haha.. But I dun have your name in my phone, so dunno who are you lah... haha..
Me: Alamak so sleepy. I did not know what I have read. Sorry bro. This is tuah lah..