MFM Joker Corner 2

[nyem]

I'm sending a copy of this to my wife

Dear Wife,

1. From 11 June to 11 July 2010, you should read the sports section of the newspaper so that you are aware of what is going on regarding the World Cup, and that way you will be able to join in the conversations. If you fail to do this, then you will be looked at in a bad way, or you will be totally ignored. DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention.

2. During the World Cup, the television is mine, at all times, without any exceptions. If you even take a glimpse of the remote control, you will lose it (your eye).

3. If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, I don’t mind, as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting me. If you decide to stand nude in front of the TV, make sure you put clothes on right after because if you catch a cold, I won’t have time to take you to the doctor or look after you during the World Cup month.

4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require a refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your mind if you expect me to listen to you, open the door, and answer the telephone.

5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least 2 six packs in the fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on, and please do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch the games.. In return, you will be allowed to use the TV when there are no games.

6. Please, please, please!! If you see me upset because one of my teams is losing, DO NOT say "get over it, it’s only a game", or "don’t worry, they’ll win next time". If you say these things, you will only make me angrier and I will love you less. Remember, you will never ever know more about football than me and your so called "words of encouragement" will only lead to a divorce.

7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me during halftime but only when the commercials are on, and only if the halftime score is pleasing me. In addition, please note I am saying "one"game; hence do not use the World Cup as a nice cheesy excuse to "spend time together".

8. The replays of the goals are very important. I don’t care if I have seen them or I haven’t seen them, I want to see them again. Many times!

9. Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related parties or gatherings that requires my attendance because:
a) I will not go,
b) I will not go, and
c) I will not go.

10. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to watch a game, we will be there in a flash.

11. The daily World Cup highlights show on TV every night is just as important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying "but you have already seen this…why don’t you change the channel to something we can all watch?" because, the reply will be, "Refer to Rule #2 of this list".

12. And finally, please save your expressions such as "Thank God the World Cup is only every 4 years". I am immune to these words, because after this comes the Champions League, Italian League, Spanish League, Premier League, FA Cup, etc.

[moeyhc]

I'm sending a copy of this to my wife

Dear Wife,.... blah blah blah.....

Are you still alive?... or still in one good piece?.....

[kissnight]

MISCOMMUNICATION

[kissnight]

CHINESE DIVORCE

A Chinese man goes for divorce,

Judge: What's the reason?

Chinese: Me no come, she no come, baby come, how come?

[kissnight]

GETTING MARRIED

A young man went to his father one day to tell him that he wanted to get married.

His father was happy for him. He asked his son who the girl was, and he told him that it was Samantha, a girl from the neighborhood.

With a sad face the old man said to his son, ''I'm sorry to say this son but I have to. The girl you want to marry is your sister, but please don't tell your mother.''

The young man again brought three more names to his father but ended up frustrated because the response was still the same.

So he decides to go to his mother. ''Mom I want to get married but all the girls that I love, dad said they are my sisters and I mustn't tell you.''

His mother smiling said to him, ''Don't worry my son, you can marry any of those girls. You're not his son.

[kissnight]

BIN LADEN

Bin Laden said: China is the world's only country we absolutely cannot mess with

The reason is this: al-Qaeda terrorists had made 8 attacks on the Chinese with the following results:


One person was to explode a bomb in Beijing Xizhimen (the main north west gate of Beijing) but he lost his way in the three-dimensional traffic bridge;


One person in Shanghai was to take a bus to explode a suicide bomb in the bus, but it was so crowded he could not get into a bus for two hours;


One person was to bomb a supermarket in Wuhan, but found that the bomb remote control was stolen;


One person wanted to bomb government buildings in Chengdu, but was stopped at the door by the security staff and arrested as an East Turkistan separatist, and was beaten and interrogated;


One person succeeded in bombing a Hebei mine, with hundreds of people dead and wounded, and then returned to the al-Qaeda center, but even after six months, failed to see any news reports on the success of the bombing ，he was considered by the organization to claim a false victory and was executed (this is the most pathetic!);


One person had tried to bomb Guangzhou, but as he came off the train, a motorcycle robber (flying car robber) snatched his bag (containing the bomb) from him;


One person who arrived in Xi'an lost contact, and was later found at the hospital in a state of coma. Doctors said it was the result of him eating not only "black-hearted" food products, but he also drank fake alcohol, and would possibly turn into a "vegetable" (vegetative state);


Later, bin Laden tried to send a female terrorist to blow up Hainan Island, but she was cheated into prostitution!


Finally, bin Laden have to say: Remember! ! China is the world's only country we absolutely cannot mess with!

[kissnight]

Dog For Sale

Whether you own a dog or not, you must appreciate the efforts of this owner to sell her dog. Read the sales pitch below the photo!!!









Dog For Sale
Free to good home. Excellent guard dog. Owner cannot afford to feed him anymore, as there are no more drug pushers, thieves, murderers, or molesters left in the neighborhood for him to eat. Most of them knew him as 'Holy Shit.'

[kissnight]

The Penis Study


The American Government funded a study to see why the head of a man's penis was larger than the shaft.
After 1 year and $180,000, they concluded that the reason that the head was larger than the shaft was to give the man more pleasure during sex.


After the U.S. published the study, the Finns decided to do they're own study.
After $250,000 and 3 years of research, they concluded that the reason the head was larger than the shaft was to give the woman more pleasure during sex.


Newfoundlanders, unsatisfied with these findings, conducted their own study.
After 2 weeks, a cost of around $75.46, and 2 cases of beer they concluded that it was to keep a man's hand from flying off and
hitting himself in the forehead !

[kissnight]

Cracking Irony

[burnzzr1]

I'm sending a copy of this to my wife

Dear Wife,.... blah blah blah.....

And don't forget world cup schedule and fixture. here
http://www.4shared.com/document/R1uEzmpc/Africa2010-1.html