MFM Joker Corner 2

A shelter from all those GPS talks. Share a joke or chat casually on other topics. Your post count will not increase if you post here :)

Moderators: Moderators, Regional Mappers

Forum rules
1. Be nice to each other and respect the moderators. Post in normal font size, color and weight. Follow Nettiquette
2. NO abuse, profanity and insults
3. NO debate on political, religious, racial and sexual matters
4. NO pornographic or nudity picture/video
5. NO spamming, cross posting and opening of duplicate topics
6. NO advertisement post or link
7. NO post/link to warez, cracks, serials or illegally obtained copyrighted content
8. Each message posted is owned by and is the opinion of the original poster. Neither mfm nor its owner or moderators are legally responsible for anything posted on the forum.
User avatar
kissnight
Posts: 49
Joined: Wed Sep 17, 2008 11:58 am
Location: Kuala Lumpur

Re: MFM Joker Corner 2

Postby kissnight » Tue Aug 23, 2011 12:58 am

PLUG & PLAY

The minister of a small congregation was about to start his sermon when he noticed a young blonde in the front row, wearing a tight dress with her boobs almost hanging out.

He couldn't concentrate on his message to the flock, so he dismissed the service and asked to speak to the woman after everyone else had left the church.

When they were alone, the reverend said in his sternest lecturing voice. "Just what do you mean, coming to church dressed like that ?"

"Why reverend," the young woman replied, "all of my boyfriends tell me that they can hear the angels sing when they put their heads on my breasts."

"Hmm. Well,.. let me check," said the reverend, placing his head between her tits.

After several minutes, he raised his head and said, "I don't hear any angels singing !"

"Of course not, Reverend," she said. "You're not plugged in yet"

:lol: :lol: :lol:
sista kissnightImage

User avatar
tlchuan
Polygon Mapper
Posts: 2009
Joined: Wed Sep 17, 2008 8:15 am
Location: Subang Jaya (x10 & Oregon 300)Garmin 255w sgmy, 2575RLM, Wayway 5035
Contact:

Re: MFM Joker Corner 2

Postby tlchuan » Thu Nov 17, 2011 10:37 am

Typical phone user see other
You do not have the required permissions to view the files attached to this post.
Image

User avatar
sobamy
Polygon Mapper
Posts: 2045
Joined: Fri Dec 18, 2009 12:51 am
Location: Selangor - Garmin Nuvi 1350 Nuvi 2575R

Re: MFM Joker Corner 2

Postby sobamy » Thu Nov 17, 2011 11:00 am

:lol: :lol: :lol:
You do not have the required permissions to view the files attached to this post.
~~ freely receive ~ freely give ~~

Image

User avatar
tlchuan
Polygon Mapper
Posts: 2009
Joined: Wed Sep 17, 2008 8:15 am
Location: Subang Jaya (x10 & Oregon 300)Garmin 255w sgmy, 2575RLM, Wayway 5035
Contact:

Re: MFM Joker Corner 2

Postby tlchuan » Thu Jan 12, 2012 8:13 am

A, b, c, d, e, f, g, h, i, j, k

After being married for thirty years, a wife asked her husband to describe her.

He looked at her for a while...then said, "You're A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K."

She asks..... "What does that mean?"

He said, "Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous, Hot.

She smiled happily and said.. "Oh, that's so lovely.. What about I, J, K?"

He said, "I'm Just Kidding!"

The swelling in his eye is going down and the doctor is fairly optimistic about saving his testicles
Image

User avatar
kissnight
Posts: 49
Joined: Wed Sep 17, 2008 11:58 am
Location: Kuala Lumpur

Re: MFM Joker Corner 2

Postby kissnight » Sat Feb 18, 2012 3:36 pm

Truth.....and No Underwear

1. Partners help each other undress before sex. However after sex, they always dress on their own. Moral of the story: In life, no one helps you once you're screwed. SIMPLE TRUTH

2. When a lady is pregnant, all her friends touch the stomach and saying "congrats". But, none of them come and touch the man's penis and say "Good job". Moral of the story: "Hard work is never appreciated”

3. No Underwear - Makes Sense to Me--A man came to visit his grandparents, and he noticed his grandfather sitting on the porch in the rocking chair wearing only a shirt, with nothing on from the waist down. 'Grandpa, what are you doing? Your weenie is out in the wind for everyone to see!' he exclaimed. The old man looked off in the distance without answering. 'Grandpa, what are you doing sitting out here with nothing on below the waist?' he asked again. The old man slowly looked at him and said, 'Well....last week I sat out here with no shirt on and I got a stiff neck. This is your grandma's idea.'


:lol: :lol: :lol:
sista kissnightImage

User avatar
kissnight
Posts: 49
Joined: Wed Sep 17, 2008 11:58 am
Location: Kuala Lumpur

Re: MFM Joker Corner 2

Postby kissnight » Sat Feb 18, 2012 3:37 pm

Homemade Chili

I went to Home Depot recently while not being altogether sure that course of action was a wise one. You see, the previous evening I had prepared and consumed a massive quantity of my patented 'you're definitely going to crap yourself' road-kill chili. Tasty stuff, although hot to the point of being painful, which comes with a written guarantee from me that if you eat it, the next day both of your butt cheeks WILL fall off.

Here's the thing. I had awakened that morning, and even after two cups of coffee (and all of you know what I mean) nothing happened. No 'Watson's Movement. Despite the chilies swimming their way through my intestinal tract, I was unable to create the usual morning symphony referred to by my dear wife as 'thunder and lightning'.

Knowing that a time of reckoning HAD to come, yet not sure of just when, I bravely set off for Home Depot, my quest being paint and supplies to refinish the deck. Upon entering the store at first all seemed normal. I selected a cart and began pushing it about dropping items in for purchase. It wasn't until I was at the opposite end of the store from the toilets that the pain hit me.

Oh, don't look at me like you don't know what I'm talking about. I'm referring to that 'Uh, Oh, CRAP, gotta go' pain that always seems to hit us at the wrong time. The thing is, this pain was different. The chilies from the night before were staging a revolt. In a mad rush for freedom they bullied their way through the small intestines, forcing their way into the large intestines, and before I could take one step in the direction of the toilets which would bring sweet relief, it happened. The chilies fired a warning shot.

There I stood, alone in the paint and stain section, suddenly enveloped in a toxic cloud the likes of which has never before been recorded. I was afraid to move for fear that more of this vile odor might escape me. Slowly, oh so slowly, the pressure seemed to leave the lower part of my body, and I began to move up the aisle and out of it, just as a red apron clerk turned the corner and asked if I needed any help.

I don't know what made me do it, but I stopped to see what his reaction would be to the toxic non-visible fog that refused to dissipate.. Have you ever been torn in two different directions emotionally? Here's what I mean, and I'm sure some of you at least will be able to relate. I could've warned that poor clerk, but didn't. I simply watched as he walked into an invisible, and apparently indestructible, wall of odor so terrible that all he could do before gathering his senses and running, was to stand there blinking and waving his arms about his head as though trying to ward off angry bees. This, of course, made me feel terrible, but then made me laugh. ..........BIG mistake!!!!!

Here's the thing. When you laugh, it's hard to keep things 'clamped down', if you know what I mean. With each new guffaw an explosive issue burst forth from my nether region. Some were so loud and echoing that I was later told a few folks in other aisles had ducked, fearing that someone was robbing the store and firing off a shotgun.. Suddenly things were no longer funny. 'It' was coming, and I raced off through the store towards the toilet, laying down a cloud the whole way, praying that I'd make it before the grand explosion took place.

Luck was on my side. Just in the nick of time I got to the john, began the e inevitable 'Oh my God', floating above the toilet seat because my ass is burning SO BAD, purging. One poor fellow walked in while I was in the middle of what is the true meaning of 'Shock and Awe'.. He made a gagging sound, and disgustedly said, 'Son-of-a-b****!, did it smell that bad when you ate it?', then quickly left.

Once finished and I left the restroom, reacquired my partially filled cart intending to carry on with my shopping when a store employee approached me and said, 'Sir, you might want to step outside for a few minutes. It appears some prankster set off a stink bomb in the store. The manager is going to run the vent fans on high for a minute or two which ought to take care of the problem.'

My smirking of course set me off again, causing residual gases to escape me. The employee took one sniff, jumped back pulling his shirt up to cover his nose and, pointing at me in an accusing manner shouted, 'IT'S YOU!', then ran off returning moments later with the manager. I was unceremoniously escorted from the premises and asked none too kindly not to return.

Home again without my supplies, I realized that there was nothing to eat but leftover chili, so I consumed two more bowls. The next day I went to shop at Lowes. I can't say anymore about that because we are in court over the whole matter.. Bastards claim they're going to have to repaint the store.


:lol: :lol: :lol:
sista kissnightImage

User avatar
kissnight
Posts: 49
Joined: Wed Sep 17, 2008 11:58 am
Location: Kuala Lumpur

Re: MFM Joker Corner 2

Postby kissnight » Sat Feb 18, 2012 3:48 pm

There is always one in the family... ](*,) :-' :mrgreen: :ko: =P~


http://youtu.be/Q7V-QyT-HXo


:lol: :lol: :lol:
sista kissnightImage

User avatar
kissnight
Posts: 49
Joined: Wed Sep 17, 2008 11:58 am
Location: Kuala Lumpur

Re: MFM Joker Corner 2

Postby kissnight » Sat Feb 18, 2012 3:58 pm

Nag, Nag... Nag..

An old country farmer had a wife who nagged him unmercifully.
From morning till night she was always complaining about something.
The only time he got any relief was when he was out plowing with his old mule.
He tried to plow a lot.

One day, when he was out plowing, his wife brought him lunch in the field.
He drove the old mule into the shade, sat down on a stump, and began to eat his lunch.
Immediately, his wife began nagging him again.
Complain, nag, complain, nag - it just went on and on.
All of a sudden, the old mule lashed out with both hind feet, caught her smack in the back of the head.

Killed her....................... dead on the spot.

At the funeral several days later, the minister noticed something rather odd.
When a woman mourner would approach the old farmer, he would listen for a minute, then nod his head in agreement; but when a man mourner approached him, he would listen for a minute, then shake his head in disagreement.
This was so consistent, the minister decided to ask the old farmer about it.
So after the funeral, the minister spoke to the old farmer, and asked him why he nodded his head and agreed with the women, but always shook his head and disagreed with all the men.

The old farmer said, 'Well, the women would come up and say something about how nice my wife looked, or how pretty her dress was, so I'd nod my head in agreement.'

'And what about the men?' the minister asked.
'They wanted to know if the mule was for sale.'



:lol: :lol: :lol:
sista kissnightImage

User avatar
kissnight
Posts: 49
Joined: Wed Sep 17, 2008 11:58 am
Location: Kuala Lumpur

Re: MFM Joker Corner 2

Postby kissnight » Sat Feb 18, 2012 4:58 pm

Why Sharks Circle You Before Attacking

Two great white sharks swimming in the ocean spied survivors of a ship that had sunk.
"Follow me son", the father shark said to his son, and they swam to the survivors.

"First we swim around them a few times with just the tip of our fins showing." And they did.

"Well done, son! Now we swim around them a few times with all of our fins showing." And they did.

"Now we eat everybody." And they did.

When they were both gorged, the son asked, "Dad, why didn't we just eat them? Why did we swim around and around them?"

His wise father replied, "Because they taste better without the shit inside!"



:lol: :lol: :lol:
sista kissnightImage

User avatar
kissnight
Posts: 49
Joined: Wed Sep 17, 2008 11:58 am
Location: Kuala Lumpur

Re: MFM Joker Corner 2

Postby kissnight » Sun Feb 19, 2012 11:01 am

Reasons why British newspaper are more interesting than ours..


Image



Image



Image



Image



Image



:lol: :lol: :lol:
sista kissnightImage


Return to “Free & Easy”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest