MFM Joker Corner

A shelter from all those GPS talks. Share a joke or chat casually on other topics. Your post count will not increase if you post here :)

Moderators: Moderators, Regional Mappers

Forum rules
1. Be nice to each other and respect the moderators. Post in normal font size, color and weight. Follow Nettiquette
2. NO abuse, profanity and insults
3. NO debate on political, religious, racial and sexual matters
4. NO pornographic or nudity picture/video
5. NO spamming, cross posting and opening of duplicate topics
6. NO advertisement post or link
7. NO post/link to warez, cracks, serials or illegally obtained copyrighted content
8. Each message posted is owned by and is the opinion of the original poster. Neither mfm nor its owner or moderators are legally responsible for anything posted on the forum.
User avatar
SOSweet
Posts: 246
Joined: Thu Sep 18, 2008 3:27 pm
Location: Lion City (NUVI 200W, Omnia II + GMXT)

Re: MFM Joker Corner

Postby SOSweet » Wed Dec 23, 2009 4:08 pm

kissnight wrote:Do Golfers Cheat ? ? ?
Image
:lol: :lol: :lol:

To be more precise, it should be 6 holes for the complete course. :lol: :peace:
HEALTHY LIVING :
Eat Less - Salt & Sugar
Do More - Exercise & Good Deeds

User avatar
chindian
Contributor
Posts: 133
Joined: Tue Sep 08, 2009 2:51 pm
Location: kampoh - R5800

Re: MFM Joker Corner

Postby chindian » Wed Dec 23, 2009 4:26 pm

ASK WHEN IN DOUBT

A new Army Captain was assigned to an outfit in a remote post in the Afghan Desert .

During his first inspection of the outfit, he noticed a camel hitched up behind the mess tent. He asked the Sergeant why the camel was kept there.

The nervous sergeant said, 'Sir, as you know, there are 250 men here on the post and no women. Sometimes the men have urges. That's why we have Molly The Camel.'

The Captain said, 'I can't say that I condone this, but I can understand about the 'urges', so the camel can stay.'

About a month later, the Captain starts having his own 'urges'. Crazed with passion, he asked the Sergeant to bring the camel to his tent.

Putting a ladder behind the camel, the Captain stands on the ladder, pulls his pants down and has wild and insane sex with the camel.

When he's done, he asked the Sergeant, 'Is that how the men do it ?'

Sergeant replied, 'No sir. They usually just ride the camel into town. That's where the girls are.'

Moral of the story :-
If you are not sure of doing things, don't be ashamed to ask for clarification before doing it ... not after you have done it wrongly !!!
Latitude is Where We are Lost,
Longitude is How Long We've been Lost There!

User avatar
kissnight
Posts: 49
Joined: Wed Sep 17, 2008 11:58 am
Location: Kuala Lumpur

Re: MFM Joker Corner

Postby kissnight » Thu Dec 31, 2009 12:56 pm

THE SINGAPORE SPECIAL





Image



:lol: :lol: :lol:
sista kissnightImage

User avatar
kissnight
Posts: 49
Joined: Wed Sep 17, 2008 11:58 am
Location: Kuala Lumpur

Re: MFM Joker Corner

Postby kissnight » Mon Jan 04, 2010 4:01 pm

Microsoft's Bill Gates decided not to invest further in Punjab after receiving a letter from Mr Banta Singh.

To : Bill Gates, Microsoft
From : Banta Singh of Punjab
Date : 1 January 2010
Subject: Problems with my new computer

Dear Mr. Bill Gates,

We have bought a computer for our home and we have found some problems, which I want to bring to your notice..

1. There is a button 'start' but there is no 'stop' button. We request you to check this.

2. One doubt is whether any 're-scooter' is available in system? I find only 're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.

3. There is 'Find' button but it is not working. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot to trace the key with this 'find 'button, but was unable to trace. Please rectify this problem.

4. My child learnt 'Microsoft word' now he wants to learn 'Microsoft sentence', so when you will provide that ?

5. I bought computer, CPU, mouse and keyboard, but there is only one icon which shows 'My Computer': when you will provide the remaining items ?

6. It is surprising that windows says 'MY Pictures' but there is not even a single photo of mine. So when will you keep my photo in that.

7. There is 'MICROSOFT OFFICE' what about 'MICROSOFT HOME' since I use the PC at home only.

8. You provided 'My Recent Documents'. When you will provide 'My Past Documents'?

9. You provide 'My Network Places'. For God sake please does not provide 'My Secret Places'. I do not want to let my wife know where I go after my office hours.

Regards,
Banta

Last one Mr. Bill Gates
P.S: “ Sir, how is it that your name is Gates but you are selling WINDOWS ?”



:lol: :lol: :lol:
sista kissnightImage

User avatar
kissnight
Posts: 49
Joined: Wed Sep 17, 2008 11:58 am
Location: Kuala Lumpur

Re: MFM Joker Corner

Postby kissnight » Mon Jan 04, 2010 4:11 pm

sista kissnightImage

User avatar
kissnight
Posts: 49
Joined: Wed Sep 17, 2008 11:58 am
Location: Kuala Lumpur

Re: MFM Joker Corner

Postby kissnight » Mon Jan 04, 2010 4:19 pm

THE GYNAE

A gynaecologist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and HMO paperwork and was burned out.
Hoping to try another career where skilful hands would be beneficial, he decided to become a mechanic.
He went to the local technical college, signed up for evening classes, attended diligently, and learned all he could.

When the time for the practical exam approached, the gynaecologist prepared carefully for weeks and completed the exam with tremendous skill.

When the results came back, he was surprised to find that he had obtained a score of 150% instead of the full 100%.

Fearing an error, he called the instructor, saying, "I don't want to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding result, but I wonder if there is an error in the grade."

The instructor said, "During the exam, you took the engine apart perfectly, which was worth 50% of the total mark.

You put the engine back together again perfectly, which is also worth 50% of the mark."

After a pause, the instructor added, "I gave you an extra 50% because you did it all through the exhaust, which I've never seen done in my entire career."


:lol: :lol: :lol:
sista kissnightImage

User avatar
tlchuan
Polygon Mapper
Posts: 2009
Joined: Wed Sep 17, 2008 8:15 am
Location: Subang Jaya (x10 & Oregon 300)Garmin 255w sgmy, 2575RLM, Wayway 5035
Contact:

Re: MFM Joker Corner

Postby tlchuan » Mon Jan 04, 2010 7:50 pm

TNB online

有天晚上,老婆撒娇的和老公说:老公我的已经迟了一个月了,可能有了呢。老公十分兴奋的说 :dear,我们还是先别公布,保密下,下星期我们看doctor确定后再说,免得空欢喜一场。这样俩公婆就很开心的睡觉休息去了。

由于他们家上个月没有缴付电费,隔天TNB的员工就上门来追数了!TNB员工说:Miss, 你已经迟了一个月了,快点把它settle掉,不然我难做啊!

老婆很惊讶的嘶喊:我迟一个月,TNB都知道???!!!!

TNB员工不肖的说:Aiya,Miss,现在都IT时代了,我只要online check一下,什么都知道啦,没有秘密的啦!

老婆更失控的呐喊:什么?online都能check到??!!!

TNB员工看到那女人好像发神经似,害怕下,就说:其实你迟一个月而已,有些人还迟了6个月呢,没事的,你和老公商量下,然后到Kedai TNB settle吧。过后就快快跑掉了!

她老公听了老婆的诉控,si bei 生气,隔天请了假到Kedai TNB去理论。

老公一进到TNB就对着counter大喊:你们脑袋有什么问题?吃饱没事做啊?我老婆迟一个月你们也这么kai po在internet唱啊!!! 你们家里老婆难道没有迟过啊?是不是要我出lawyer letter告你们啊???!!!!

那个上门追数的TNB员工试着安慰发了疯的老公说:Mister,放轻松,放轻松,要settle其实很容易,只要给钱就是了.

老公更生气:Nia bei,还要lim bei给钱???!!!没有,去死吧!!!

TNB员工惟有说:这样的话,我们惟有切掉你的。。。。。

老公瞪眼说:切掉我的???我以后用什么啊?????!!!!

TNB员工非常有型的说:Mister,你以后惟有可以用蜡烛而已啦。。
Image

User avatar
kissnight
Posts: 49
Joined: Wed Sep 17, 2008 11:58 am
Location: Kuala Lumpur

Re: MFM Joker Corner

Postby kissnight » Wed Jan 06, 2010 11:28 am

THE EXTREMELY COOL CLOCK...

You can set all your clocks to the exact time.
This is a real cool clock! It comes from a Dutch web site.

Here is what you will see when you look at this clock. Don't do anything.

Just look at it and study it. It gives you the EXACT TIME of the DAY in seconds, minutes, hours, the day, month and year. Just read the green line.

Everything there.. Study it for a few seconds and it will all come clear to you.

Remember these definitions:

1st Line is Seconds

2nd Line is Minutes

3rd line is Hours

4th Line is Days

5th Line is Months

6th Line is Years

This is the COOLEST clock yet !! Amazing !!

http://home.tiscali.nl/annejan/swf/timeline.swf




:lol: :lol: :lol:
sista kissnightImage

User avatar
kissnight
Posts: 49
Joined: Wed Sep 17, 2008 11:58 am
Location: Kuala Lumpur

Re: MFM Joker Corner

Postby kissnight » Fri Jan 08, 2010 11:12 am

MUST SEE

Best Pool Shot by a Naked White Chick


If the Mods feel that this video is not suitable for this forum's viewing.. please remove it..

BE WARNED !!!!!! She is totally Naked !!!!

Make sure no children are around when you open this..




http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UQAFCbsgQeo&feature=related


:lol: :lol: :lol:
sista kissnightImage

User avatar
kissnight
Posts: 49
Joined: Wed Sep 17, 2008 11:58 am
Location: Kuala Lumpur

Re: MFM Joker Corner

Postby kissnight » Fri Jan 08, 2010 11:19 pm

LIST OF POSSIBLE SLOGANS PROMOTING NATIONAL CONDOM WEEK

please read out LOUD.......



1. COVER YOUR STUMP BEFORE U HUMP


2. BEFORE U ATTACK HER, WRAP YOUR WHACKER


3. DON'T BE SILLY, PROTECT YOUR WILLY


4. WHEN IN DOUBT, SHROUD YOUR SPOUT


5. DON'T BE A LONER, COVER YOUR BONER


6. YOU CANT GO WRONG, IF U SHIELD YOUR DONG


7. IF YOU'RE NOT GOIN TO SACK IT, GO HOME AND WHACK IT.


8. IF U THINK SHE'S SPUNKY, COVER YOUR MONKEY


9. IF U SLIP BETWEEN HER THIGHS, BE SURE TO CONDOMIZE


10. IT WILL BE SWEETER IF U WRAP YOUR PETER


11. SHE WONT GET SICK IF U WRAP YOUR DICK


12. IF U GO IN TO HEAT, PACKAGE YOUR MEAT


13. WHILE YOU'RE UNDRESSING VENUS, DRESS UP YOUR PENIS


14. WHEN U TAKE OFF HER PANTS AND BLOUSE, SLIP UP YOUR TROUSER MOUSE


15. ESPECIALLY IN DECEMBER, GIFT WRAP YOUR MEMBER


16. NEVER, NEVER DECK HER WITH AN UNWRAPPED PECKER


17. DONT BE A FOOL, VULCANIZE YOUR TOOL


18. THE RIGHT SELECTION WILL PROTECT YOUR ERECTION


19. WRAP IT IN FOIL BEFORE CHECKING HER OIL


20. A CRANK WITH ARMOR WILL NEVER HARM HER


21. NO GLOVE, NO LOVE!



:lol: :lol: :lol:
sista kissnightImage


Return to “Free & Easy”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests